Why I gave myself a second chance

It’s a little bit daunting to pick up writing after a, well over a YEAR hiatus!  I just looked at the date of my last post.   Sheesh!

Little did I know that getting my hair cut today would be the motivation I needed to get back on here.

“Let’s wash it and then you can tell me what kind of cut you’re wanting”, she said.  Normal small talk at first.  And then, as she was conditioning my hair, I was telling her not to look too closely at my thinning hair, which then sparked the “oh man, after you have a baby you lose all your hair I said, and oh it comes out by the handfuls she said, and oh my teeth got really bad I said, and oh my acne got really bad she said and I agreed, and oh I had really bad post partum depression she said…

Instant connection.

She talked about her three year old.  I talked about my 3, well almost 4 year old.  She talked about what it was like for her in the beginning.  The insomnia, yes I get it!  The days and days of waking up and just feeling nothing yes, I understand that too!  The obsessive thoughts yes!   It’s so real!  And finally she said, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to do it again.  Yes, sister, I have definitely been there.    Our conversation flowed and we opened up.  I realized talking to her that man, I need to keep sharing my story, not just with her but with everyone!  Things have gotten so much better, I mean like WAY better.   I mean like I actually got up the courage to have another baby.  As I shared with her what I did differently, what helped me feel more prepared to have another baby I realized it truly is miraculous that things have gone the way they have this time around.  It’s been a process.  It’s taken work and talking and reading and thinking through things.  And I want to and feel like I need to share it.   What I did to be prepared for post-partum the second time around.  What I read, what I ate, what proactive preventative measures I took.  What I did differently during my pregnancy and after.  Bottom line:  That there is HOPE!  So much hope!  There’s so much more out there to help you and me than I ever knew was available the first time around.   Things have gotten so much better for me!   I am enjoying motherhood. That’s dream come true for me.  To enjoy it.  Oh, I still have bad days.  Bad mom days and bad depression days.  But I know now what to do and I understand so much more.

As I left the salon, my new friend and stylist said, “I’m so so thankful you’re willing to talk about this!  I literally have not talked to anyone that is my age that is willing to open up about it!”.

Excited to be back.  Here’s to hope.